Choose Your Own Adventure You Fucking Faggots

[Scruffington]

I'm just gonna make this shit up based off of your responses. Play it like you would a text-based adventure game.

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You arrive at your destination. You're not exactly sure what your destination was, or where you were coming from - or who you are - but that's not important! You've finally arrived. Looking around, you realize you just stepped off a boat onto a concrete pier, and there's a city dead ahead. There are a few other people around you, moving towards the metropolis. Everything seems fairly nondescript and non-threatening. What now?

Obvious exits:
The boat
Further down the dock

[-Lemon-]

look into water
walk down the dock
hit someone into water

[Scruffington]

You stare directly into the water. You notice a bit of garbage and a number of fish skeletons and you realize that this water is probably highly toxic. Smirking to yourself with the realization that you can be a dick and potentially give someone a vicious headache, you casually stroll down the dock with the intent of pushing the first person you cross into the water. As it happens, the first person is a small boy tightly clutching his mother's hand. Stifling a cackle, you outstretch your grasping fingers, violently rip the boy from his mother, and uppercut him into the water.

The mother is visibly upset - and so are the other people who watched you pull this dick move - but they are all too busy trying to rescue the boy from the water to pay any attention to what you just did. Smiling, you continue on down the dock.

What now?

[Bloodcider]

Continue down the dock until there is no more dock to continue down.

[Scruffington]

Deciding you don't want to be around for the backlash of your actions, you continue on down the docks. Eventually, after rounding a few corners, you arrive at a large imposing brick building that appears to be labeled, "Immigration". There is little else here, and it seems that a man in uniform is motioning you to enter the building.

What now?

[Bloodcider]

Mug him and take his uniform. Discreetly, if possible.

[Scruffington]

In broad eye-burning daylight, you slowly edge towards the man in the uniform. As he slowly edges away from you - and towards the open door of the Immigration Office, where you can plainly see all of his uniformed friends watching what is transpiring - you realize that trying to mug this man and steal his uniform is probably not the best idea. Regardless, you have started down this course of action, and if nothing else, you firmly believe that you are the kind of person that finishes what he starts.

Charging towards him, you bring a knee up into his groin as he turns to face you. He collapses with a wheeze, and before he can get up, you bring your foot down on his stomach. He is a weighty man, and you can see that he is struggling not to vomit up whatever number of breakfast burritos he scarfed down this morning. You quickly begin to take his clothes off, when you see his co-workers start to stream out of the building.

What now?

[Bloodcider]

I quickly explain that I am an immigrant and that is how we say hello to authorities in my country. While I am putting the uniform on, of course. And possibly being tackled by men larger than myself.

[Scruffington]

You awake in a jail cell.

What now, dumbass?

[Bloodcider]

Look for ketchup. It's the only thing that could help in this situation.

[Scruffington]

There is no ketchup here. Only bars, a wooden bench, and a toilet. You are alone, too, but you figure that based on your previous actions, you don't get along with people anyways.

What now?

[Jinglis]

you fake being sick to get the guard's attention

[Scruffington]

You start groaning loudly. After a few minutes of the most non-forced groaning you can muster, a man materializes in front of your cell. "What the hell is wrong you?" He says, as you notice that he is wearing the same uniform as the man you tried to mug. This must be the guard whose attention you have been trying to capture.

What now?

[Bloodcider]

Say something desperate in a foreign language. Fall clutching your chest and aim your face for the toilet. Hopefully you can knock yourself out and be transported to the infirmary. There has to be an infirmary. What kind of fucked up place wouldn't have an infirmary?

[Sweden Kjeldsen]

Just so everyone knows; I consider this thread and its contents as nothing more than the foul gasses emerging from a long dead, and now rotting corpse, or in this case forum.