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Post by Scruffington on May 26, 2008 19:06:36 GMT -5
You don't know any foreign languages - you don't even have a concept of what foreign is to you - so you simply keep on groaning. With phase one of your brilliant plan complete, you move on to phase two. Making a great show of clutching your chest, you stagger over to the toilet and collapse. The pain upon contact is immediate and intense, and you're fairly certain you've broken your nose. The guard seems to buy it, however, and eventually you are carried down a few corridors and into another room. When you open your eyes, you are relieved to see that they did indeed bring you to the infirmary. Or at the very least, the room that serves as the infirmary. It's pretty dirty.
What now?
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Post by Bloodcider on May 27, 2008 3:20:28 GMT -5
Cautiously look around for apparent windows and people. With caution, remember.
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Post by Scruffington on May 28, 2008 1:25:44 GMT -5
You see some windows and some people.
What now?
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Post by Bloodcider on May 28, 2008 21:24:52 GMT -5
Run for the windows, obviously. If need be, take some people with you. That's what they get for being near the windows in the first place.
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Post by Scruffington on May 29, 2008 1:34:58 GMT -5
You try your best to escape from the buckles that are keeping you tied to the bed, but they are done up pretty tight.
Now what?
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Post by Bloodcider on May 29, 2008 1:54:22 GMT -5
Do whatever the fuck it is that Sarah Connor did to get out of hers in Terminator 2.
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Post by Scruffington on May 29, 2008 14:19:33 GMT -5
You're not exactly sure who Sarah Connor is - or for that matter, what "Terminator 2" is - so you lie there helplessly.
Anything else you want to try, slugger?
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Post by Bloodcider on Jun 4, 2008 23:29:00 GMT -5
I lay there and cry because the snooty admin and some swedish fuck ruined one of the things I love most in life.
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Post by ADAM>>>> on Jun 26, 2008 0:16:57 GMT -5
Poop yourself, while shouting Outkast lyrics.
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Post by Scruffington on Jun 27, 2008 10:37:44 GMT -5
"I'm sorry miss Jackson!" You scream, as your face turns red with the effort of squeezing one out, "I am for real! Never meant to make your daughter cry, I apologized a million -"
And then it happens. You're fairly certain you've hit a new low, but you can't really be certain since you have no memory of anything beyond this morning. In any case, you are definitely sure that this is one of the most disgusting things you've created - the texture and smell are enough to make a person gag. Luckily for you, the guard on duty does indeed gag, and after a moment of deliberation, decides to unbuckle you so you can clean yourself up. He's pointing some sort of rifle at you, but at the very least, you are no longer strapped down to the bed.
What now?
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Post by Bloodcider on Jun 28, 2008 19:07:07 GMT -5
Clog the gun barrel with feces. Hopefully the guard with be too disgusted to shoot you. Then you just need to Punch Punch Kick your way to victory. Then have a wank.
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Post by Scruffington on Jun 28, 2008 19:29:53 GMT -5
Very slowly and deliberately, you reach down into your pants and retrieve a handful of your own shit. With a crazed look about you, you methodically begin jamming it down the barrel with your finger. The guard begins to shout at you to stop what you're doing but ceases after you go back for another handful. The smell is making both of you choke back vomit, but you are both locked into this course. He is too shocked to do anything to stop you, and you are too depraved to even consider turning back.
After you are unable to scrape anymore poop from your pantaloons, you stare the guard in the eyes. Very carefully, you ball your hands into fists, and ram both of them into the guard's eye sockets. He crumples wordlessly, and you're fairly certain that you may have killed him, but you mash his testicles into your heel for good measure. You are entirely too amazed at the strength you possess to masturbate, and you wouldn't want that much excrement on your loins anyways.
What now, tough guy?
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Post by Bloodcider on Jun 28, 2008 19:32:24 GMT -5
Steal his uniform. That's really my ultimate goal in life since I arrived here. I'd just fucking want to wear those clothes so bad.
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Post by Scruffington on Jun 28, 2008 23:45:44 GMT -5
You put on his uniform. It fits fairly well.
What now?
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Post by Bloodcider on Jun 29, 2008 0:52:29 GMT -5
I don't know. I'm covered in shit, so I should probably go outside and wash off in the ocean.
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